nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I intend to get homeless drunk
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
