sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
