I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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