So drunk its hurt
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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