Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
