btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
