My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
