Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
