Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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