Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
