check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
