I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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