He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
