I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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