What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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