Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
