I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
