Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
