i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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