I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
