1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
