what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
