I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So here I am, sexting at work.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
