I have demons in me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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