Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
