If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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