WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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