Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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