I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
