That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
