I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
