Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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