There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
