porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
