it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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