Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
only if we run a train.
done.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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