All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
