i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
