Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
