So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
