You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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