Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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