so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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