so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
