if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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