3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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