Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
dude. I can hear the air.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
