spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
