I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize