I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
