sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
