woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
