There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
